Why do we need friends? Friends are people we can share things with, and who can take a share of what we have. What we share with them is our happiness, what they take a share of is our sadness. People with a strong heart don’t actually need friends. They can enjoy their happiness alone, and bear their sadness alone. But my heart is not strong enough, so there are times when I desire friends. But I’m never certain how strong other people’s heart is, and therefore Im not certain if they share the same desire. I wish that our hearts could be very strong: then we wouldn’t need friends so much and it wouldn’t be so painful to not find the friends we desire.
In the end, we are all lonely. We come to the world alone, and we leave the world alone. Physically, we may no be so lonely, since we have blood relations, and relations through marriage which know that we exist and care about us; but spiritually, we are completely alone, except for a few spiritual friends. Yet this kind of friendship is not something we can demand; it comes only naturally, through chance encounters.
Love is a very wonderful thing, and its ideal form is when a single person can be both a physical and a spiritual friend. The probability that just one person may be both is really too small – it can happen, but can’t be demanded. I believe that many men and women are waiting for such a person, waiting for this miracle in their life which can happen but can’t be demanded.
People always ask me what advice I have for men and women. My advice holds in two sentences. One, if you really want to marry, you don’t have to wait for perfect love; marrying someone who is only a physical or only a spiritual friend is not too bad. Two, if you don’t particularly want to marry, but absolutely want to wait for love, then your heart must be strong enough, and you need to prepare for lifelong celibacy, because the chances of love happening are not so high.
I'm a Frenchman living in Melbourne, Australia, and I've been learning Chinese since 2008. I travelled there on three occasions, and lived in Tianjin for two months in July-August 2011.I'm a writer, a language educator, and a community builder. I'm particularly fascinated by the way the internet is changing social relations, and our use of language.I founded the Marco Polo Project in early 2011, trying to bring together my interest for languages and online writing, and Australia's unique position as an interface between Europe, Asia and America.
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I'm a Frenchman living in Melbourne, Australia, and I've been learning Chinese since 2008. I travelled there on three occasions, and lived in Tianjin for two months in July-August 2011.I'm a writer, a language educator, and a community builder. I'm particularly fascinated by the way the ...
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