做一个勇敢的70后父亲 – A brave father from the seventies

99%
26 paragraph translated (26 in total)
Read or translate in

It seems that Chinese children now only have the first of June to remember that they are children, go out and play like children, get crazy, and spend time with their friends…

 

This year’s first of June was very happy, we had three consecutive days off; but after these three days, I’m afraid that all these children will be reminded that the First of June is over, and it’s time to start studying again!

 

Too many parents would like to give their children a proper childhood, but in their hearts fear the following: “There’s so many people in China, I can give my child a happy childhood now, but in the future, can I guarantee that they will be happy as adults.”  It’s a real tangle, isn’t it?

 

But we cannot pass on our own incompetence to our children in this way, that’s not the truth of it…

 

The first truth of it is:

 

Do you really believe that children get a smoother path as adults because they made more effort than other children  as a child, and not because their paernts made more efforts than other parents?

If this rule has not changed, then it’s you who need to refuel, not your child.

You can either become a powerful father, or fight to change the rules of this world so that all children will have a fair chance. But the majority of adults don’t do either of these two things, what they do is, make their own children nice and obedient, so they will bear the pressure better. 

Some adults, even though they are themselves just children who have grown into adults, never dare to bear the responsibility they should have for their own life.

 

The second truth of it is:

 

The most important thing is not whether a person has mastered many skills, but whether they can have good interactions and relationships with others.

In our society, a person’s skill will determine what that person can do, but their capacity to communicate with others will determine how far they go.

Children whose childhood is too hard won’t necessarily live a happier life in the future. Because a child’s childhood is not only for him or her to learn reading: when they grow up, if they can’t sing, dance or draw, their life will be very boring. And actually, every parent admits to sending their child to all sorts of such classes and courses; but how many parents let their their children have contacts with other children, from different circles?

Their child’s life is filled with classes, but lack opportunities to compete and collaborate with others. They grow up solitary, and when they become adults, it won’t necessarily be easy for them to integrate at work.

There are more and more papers on child depression, and that’s because they live such lonely lives, they fear contacts with others, they’re afraid of being rejected, but others don’t know…

 

The third truth of it is:

 

Those who are now children in China won’t worry about unemployment, they’ll worry about pensions.

Our generation has grown up with demographic competition, and everywhere we can feel the pressure of too many people, so we have a very personal sense of demographic pressure. 

But don’t forget family planing, two generations of family planning have changed the demographic structure of the whole country. And shortage of labour supply will be an inevitable consequence of the demographic structure.

When our children grow up, the problem they will face is not the shortage of jobs, it will be too many jobs to choose from. But one thing is certain, what will most worry our children in the future is how to keep all of us, the elderly. Because no job that will male them enough to feed themselves, feed one or two children, and feed four or even twelve elderly people.

Don’t expect anything from the country, your children can only count on you, and if you can’t count on them for taking care of you, or if you have some sense of consciousness, you can choose to leave this world with dignity, not waste resources, and leave more for future generations.

 

I believe that’s how a brave father from the seventies should behave:

 

1. Before our career is over, we should change ourselves and the world, instead of counting on our children…

 

2. You should’tn hope for a change in the education system that would make your children internationally competitive, and that’s not as important as giving your children the maximum possible space to live a happy childhood. 

 

3、Wait untill your children become adults, but when you’re getting old, when you start becoming a burden on everyone, bravely make a choice that will let your children not find you there anymore…

 

This is the fate of our generation, there’s no escaping it, we have to bear it. And so what I’d like to say is that, since when they grow up it will be hard to be happy no matter what, we’d better take advantage of them being small, and if we can be happy for a few days, that’s good…

 

About julien.leyre

French-Australian writer, educator, sinophile. Any question? Contact [email protected]